Teamwork

I LOVE my classmates. Although we are still very much in the process of getting to know each other, I really feel like we all have each other’s best interests at heart. There is no sense of competition or being the “best” because I think we’re all feeling about the same: overwhelmed but excited, and completely aware that with our rookie status, we are all in for some moments of discomfort. No one becomes an expert nurse overnight, as our Clinical Skills instructor has kindly pointed out on several occasions. This feeling of mutual support and camaraderie will be of great benefit once we start clinicals and feel like bumbling idiots.

We’ve had two days of Clinical Skills class so far, and have focused on communication, the nurse-client relationship, and of course, good ol’ standard precautions and infection control. (WASH YOUR HANDS, people!) We’ve actually had some really good discussions come out of the content – another reason I like my class, everyone contributes in some way.

Yesterday we finished up lecture by getting a short tour of the simulation lab and learning how to put on and take off gloves and masks. Yes, in fact, there is a “right” way to do these things. Today begins our hands-on lab section. We’ll spend four hours practicing vital signs, making beds, and timing each other in handwashing so we know how long it feels to wash properly for 10-15 seconds. I brought out my stethoscope last night and listened to my own heartbeat. It reminded me of one of the many reasons I’m putting myself through this lesson in humility known as nursing school: the human body absolutely amazes me. Hearing that “lub-dub” just blew me away, even though I’ve heard it so many times before.

So here’s to vital signs and mitered corners. And washing your hands.

Just Call Me Urban Cowgirl

So I’ve never been the most adventurous of spirits.  Okay, I did move 3,000 miles from home to attend college, and yeah, so I lived in Africa for a year and got malaria and served as a chaplain in a TB ward without a mask or gloves (Note: that last bit was not adventurous but just plain dumb).  But I’m also the type of person who sticks with routines because I’m nervous about changing them, who’d rather wander aimlessly in a store rather than ask a stranger for help, and who prefers to drive in the lane of traffic she will ultimately need to be in at least a mile early.

So when I resolved to figure out the public transportation route to school today, you can imagine I was a bit nervous.  But by golly, I did it!  Despite getting turned around a bit downtown looking for my train stop, I only panicked for the briefest of seconds before logically figuring out where it had to be.  And I realized that to every other Joe Schmoe on the street (who probably wasn’t watching me anyway), I probably appeared as comfortable as anyone else.  And if I didn’t, who cares?

This is a big step for me.  Having never lived in a city before, I’m finding my way around quite nicely.  I find I’m more intimidated by the idea of exploration than the actual act of exploration itself.  And if I do get lost, again, who cares?

Perhaps there’s more city mouse in me than I originally believed.

Even more significantly, I’m determined to be okay on my own because of it’s part of how I grow and heal.  I was dangerously dependent on my marriage to hold me together.  Being able to take care of myself on a day-to-day basis and feel confident in my own abilities and my own place in this world are prerequisites to a future with anyone else.  And I’m doing quite well, if I do say so myself.

Deer in Headlights

So orientation is complete. We have a day off tomorrow, then the weekend, then our Clinical Skills class begins Monday afternoon. We got our syllabus today – 17 pages long for a 4-week class. Apparently the skills we’ll be learning are typically covered over an entire semester. Holy sphygmomanometers, Batman!

A lot of time was spent discussing stress and anxiety – with current students, with instructors, and with each other – and the common theme that emerged was this: Nursing school is hard as hell. Wherever we might have gone, we are in for a doozy of a reality check over the coming months. Strangely comforting but also completely terrifying. What am I getting myself into?

I am having a really hard time sorting through all of my emotions and thoughts about this experience so far. The good news, my classmates seem wonderful and everyone has been very open about their own journeys and doubts and fears. So I think we’ll make a good team – we’d better, because we’ll be spending a lot of time together!

Also good news: as terrified as I am about the skills I am about to learn and use, as nervous as I am about making mistakes or unintentionally hurting someone, I think this will be really good for me. I have historically hated being wrong or weak (also known as being horrifically stubborn and proud), and being served a bit of humble pie might actually help me learn to ask for help more, in all areas of my life.

Being the klutz that I am, you’d think I’d worry about my dexterity (or lack thereof). But in taking care of my father, I observed that my fine motor skills are actually intact. So I may trip over thin air on the way to my patient’s bedside, but once I get there, I’ll be able to start an IV with the best of ‘em. And the rudimentary experiences of flushing my dad’s central line, preparing his TPN, and programming his morphine pump, will give me the itty bitty ounce of confidence I need to believe that I WILL eventually catch on.

So tomorrow’s agenda includes: continuing to settle in (how many boxes can one really unpack into a 600-square foot apartment anyway?), figuring out the public transportation route to school so I can take advantage of it as much as possible, and … wait for it …. STUDYING!!

Yes folks, that’s right, we have homework for Monday! Welcome to nursing school, biatch!

The Adventure (Officially) Begins

Orientation is at 8 a.m. tomorrow. I’ll report on all the happenings when I get home in the afternoon.

Wish me luck.

I’m So Rone-ry

Okay, so it’s not THAT bad.  But it is kinda quiet around here.

We arrived in my new city on Friday afternoon and started moving in.  Although it took a while for my little apartment to look liveable, it’s actually coming together quite nicely.  And there is something I love about having a place to myself.  Not to mention I leased a SWEET ride for the duration of my time here – a 2008 Atomic Blue Honda Civic.

So adorably cute and great gas mileage to boot.  My landlords forgot to assign me an outdoor parking space as I had requested, so they temporarily gave me a garage spot for the price of an outdoor spot.  And if I want to stay inside, they’ll only raise the rate $10 instead of $20.  I could be tempted with my beautiful car, which also happens to be the #1 most stolen vehicle in America right now.  Who knew?

Early this morning I took “S”* to the airport.  He drove up here with me and my family, was a super trooper helping move in and get organized, and we got to play house for a couple of days, which was wonderful.  It absolutely sucks that our relationship has to be long-distance for the time being but I have a distinct feeling he’s not going anywhere.  Neither am I.  This guy is beyond a keeper.

When I got home I moped around a bit, then put together the new entertainment center (gift from S), purchased to accommodate my beastly TV.  Then my family came over and we hung pictures, bought groceries and kept putting the place together.  They left this afternoon.  So now it’s just little ole me.

Tomorrow I’ll start exploring a bit, running a few more errands and calling a couple friends I know in town.  Tuesday I go to the river with a former co-worker, who is up here visiting her folks.  Wednesday and Thursday are orientation for school.  Friday I resolve to figure out the public transportation system here.  And next Monday is my first day of school (and first day of full-time studenthood in 5 years).

I’m excited, nervous, terrified, eager, curious and more… And I can’t wait to share stories with y’all!

*NOTE: From now I shall cease to refer to boyfriend as “boyfriend” because I’m 27 and feel kind of high school-ish referring to my significant other as such.  And on my other blog he was “S”, so it fits. So there.

And They’re Off!

See you in the Emerald City!

And no, that’s not a reference to the location, in case you were wondering. 

Achy Breaky Back

Finito! Grandparents’ RV is packed and ready to go! With the exception of one last laundry load, my clothes are packed away too. We managed to fit everything except the huge bookcase I inherited from work. And the cabinet that was to double as an entertainment center turned out not to be big enough for the ginormous TV I bought from my step teacher. My family was a HUGE help, as always.

Boyfriend’s flight arrives in two hours from his 2nd of two business trips that were scheduled by his boss in the midst of this craziness. I am picking him up, taking him home to unpack and then pack again, and play with the pup, then we head back here to get some sleep. Estimated departure time for the morning: 6 a.m. Blech!

We’ll stop tomorrow night at the home of my mom’s college roommate, then try to make it the rest of the way on Thursday. Friday I am scheduled to get my key and start moving in. I’ve made offers on Craigslist for living room furniture that can hopefully be delivered for a little extra cash, and my grandparents are helping purchase a few other odds and ends. Still have to get a mattress for my bed and lease a car when I get there. The cable guy comes Saturday morning.

Orientation begins a week from tomorrow! The school has been furiously sending us our class schedules, orientation agendas, and textbook lists. My financial aid and student health insurance are pending. My scrubs and equipment should be sitting in my apartment.

I’m ready.

Looming

Whew.  I can’t believe the road trip to my new city begins in less than 48 hours!  What happened to the last two weeks????  Our internet at home has been down for most of that time, hence my inconsistent posting.  But a lot has happened as preparations wind down and movement winds up!

Finally got my student loan information from Financial Aid and finished all of my lender applications the same day.  Hopefully that all goes through smoothly.  Supposedly my scrubs and equipment are on their way to my adorable little apartment.  And just moments ago, I received an e-mail from the Program Coordinator with our entire fall schedule.  It’s gonna be a super intense semester but I am looking forward to staying busy – it’ll give me less time to mope about missing a certain someone.

This year has been full of transitions.  And aching backs – I HATE moving with the fire of ten thousand suns!

Adventures in Apartment Furnishing

So I am now officially an unemployed graduate student.  Hooray for living off of loans (which, incidentally, are STILL yet to come from financial aid.  I have a sinking suspicion this is going to be an ongoing saga).  I wrapped up my final project at work last week and was handed my final paycheck.  That chapter is officially closed – I even left the job on my Facebook profile!  For those not in-the-know, you haven’t really done something until you’ve announced it on Facebook. 

Last night Mom threw a going-away party for my sister and I (sister leaves for grad school in the Bay Area in August, which she also put off for a year to take care of our father).  50+ friends and relatives crowded into the house to eat burgers, drink beer and give us fun presents.  And I wasn’t even expecting presents!  We received some nice housewarming items, not to mention gift cards that I promptly spent this morning on a spice rack, tea kettle and various bed/bath knick knacks.  Minus a few small appliances and some living room furniture, I am pretty much sorted for my new little apartment.

Boyfriend leaves Wednesday for his first of two business trips in one week, so we are feverishly trying to squeeze in as much quality time as possible.  Otherwise I’m spending time packing, organizing and brushing up on Anatomy & Physiology.  T-minus 9 days!

Scrubsalicious, Part Deux

I took the plunge and ordered my scrubs, lab coat, shoes and nursing supplies last night.  They will be shipped to my new apartment and probably beat me there, but I didn’t want to take any chances.  All that’s left are finishing up “work”, reviewing Anatomy and Pathophysiology so I don’t look like a bumbling idiot in Clinical Skills lab since I’ve been out of school for 7 months, and finish packing.

Oh yeah, and apply for loans.  Financial Aid assures me that my package was supposed to be finished Monday and in my grubby little hands this very week.  According to my fellow classmates, the loans offered through the school seem to be enough to get them through this year.  Here’s hoping!