A Question of Ambition

This week we have to notify our program whether we want to do a Pediatrics or OB clinical rotation over the summer.  One class covers both areas and there isn’t enough time in the term to do a full rotation in each, so we have to choose.  The kicker is, we’re not allowed to do a final semester capstone in an area where we don’t have a clinical rotation.  So while ideally, I’d love to get some OB experience, I can’t do my peds capstone (and therefore more easily obtain a peds job) if I don’t do peds this summer.

Here’s where it gets sticky… There are limited spaces in each rotation, so if they have high demand for one setting over another, they’ll have to come up with a way to fairly decide who gets to be where (apparently via some lottery system).  So my dilemma is, how fervently do I lobby to get a peds placement at the expense of my classmates’ own interests?  How much do I put my own career plans and dreams ahead of those of my peers, when we have seen each other through a whole hell of a lot the past 8 months?

I would argue that those who have ambitions in a particular specialty should take priority in a situation like this.  In other words, if it came down to someone whose goals included labor and delivery nursing and someone who wasn’t really sure where they want to work but want to gain some experience in OB, I would think that the person with specific goals should be tapped first.  But who am I to really say that?  Who am I to argue that someone should be deprived of a clinical experience that might enhance their development as a nurse and would DEFINITELY contribute to a new skill set?

So I’m treading lightly on this one.  I’m not making an argument against anyone else, I’m just advocating for myself by finding out exactly how the decision will be made and making my personal goals very clear.  This program has never felt competitive and I don’t want us to crawl over each other to get placements, or for that matter, jobs.  We’re all in this to become great nurses.

Acu-perfect

So I have discovered the miraculous intervention that is acupuncture!  And I thank the Lord in heaven that I got over my needle issues and allowed myself to become a pin cushion.

It all started when I completely wrenched my back in my Med-Surg rotation last fall.  They teach you proper body mechanics for a reason, folks!  And no matter how much of a hurry you’re in, use what you learned or live to rue the day!

I had assumed I could overcome the pain by popping a few NSAIDs and resuming an exercise routine that I had so woefully neglected.  Only problem was, my damn back hurt so bad I didn’t want to move.  The doctor did x-rays, which came back hunky dorey and I was left wondering if I needed to shell out the cash for physical therapy.

Then along came my wonderful new naturopathic doctor – I had discovered her through a website that offered thyroid patients the opportunity to recommend providers who gave excellent care.  This doc was highly touted in my city and I needed someone to follow me here, so I made an appointment and poured my heart out over 90 minutes (unheard of in today’s medical practices).  Among my issues was the continued back pain, for which she prescribed me a PRN order of Vicodin (finally!) and referred me to the clinic’s acupuncturist.

Despite some trepidation about having sharp objects tapped into various points of my body, I gritted my teeth and went to my first appointment a month ago.  Three sessions later, I can say with confidence that I am pain-free!  Although I still have some stiffness after sitting for long periods, I am much more able to recover quickly and resume normal activities.  I’m even able to get back to the gym, which in the long run will help my back anyway.  And my Vicodin bottle is gathering dust in the medicine cabinet.

So for those of you who are health care providers and have a client in pain, PLEASE don’t hesitate to recommend acupuncture.  Chinese medicine has been around a lot longer than our system has.  And I can testify from personal experience that they must be doing something right!

Halfway There

Tomorrow marks the final day of my parish nursing rotation.  It was not at all what I expected, but I learned a ton about working with people whose views were very different from my own.  I realized that when you have a job to do that requires you to put a client’s needs first, your own religious opinions and political views matter very little.

So where do I go from here?  We deliver a presentation about our parish in class on Thursday.  Then comes my Med-Surg orientation on Monday afternoon, and I hit the floor in my fashionable scrubs first thing Tuesday morning.  Good-bye flexible clinical days, hello 5 a.m. wake-up calls.  I’m excited to be more hands-on again – as my classmate so delicately put it, “I want blood!”

But even though my community health rotation was frustrating on a number of levels, I have to say that I relish the challenge of ambiguity and nuance that comes with public health nursing.  So there goes another revelation: I want to provide hands-on care in a community setting.  To kids.  Supporting their families as well.

Med-Surg, here I come!

Glo Germ

Today we did an educational presentation at our parish – we decided to teach the preschoolers about handwashing.  It only confirmed for me how much I want to work with kids someday.

The class went really well – we read them a story about how germs spread, and then used a Glo Germ kit to have them spread “germs” amongst each other (Glo Germ is a lotion substance that glows under UV light, so they could see how their previously clean hands became dirty after shaking hands with an “infected” classmate).  Then we practiced washing our hands while we sang “Twinkle, Twinkle.”  A.dor.a.ble.

The beauty of peds is that you get to work with the little tykes AND their families.  It truly encompasses everything I love about nursing – family support, hands on care, nurturing, patient and family teaching and advocacy.  And kids!

In the midst of an already-exhausting semester, I must say that I feel a bit refreshed.

Decompensation

So we have our first Med-Surg exam this Friday.  And I think about half the class was about to burst into tears during lecture today, weighed down by the mere volume of information we will be expected to know (and imagine if we weren’t two chapters behind)!

I’m certainly in the same boat when it comes to feeling overwhelmed.  Were I actually in my Med-Surg clinical and putting these concepts into practice, I think I might feel a little more in my element (although the stuff is still freaking hard, whatever rotation we’re in right now).  But my brain feels like it’s on a completely different wavelength and information I should know, I’m struggling with.  Even cardio stuff, which normally fascinates me, is giving me palpitations of my own.

But I guess the best I can do is study my booty off this week and do the best I can do.  Remember that humble pie I mentioned last semester?  I’m about to help myself to big ol’ slice…

Another Day, Another Dollar

Somehow, despite having one fewer course this semester, I feel like I’m already getting my a$$ handed to me. Perhaps it’s the fact that since we’ve survived the (apparently) hardest semester of all, the bar is raised. Could be. All I know is that I am mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted, and it’s only three weeks in.

Maybe this is the nursing school version of the sophomore slump. As in, we’re trudging through term 2 out of 4. Maybe the bloom is off the rose and the excitement/ideal of becoming a nurse is being lapped by the reality of life as a nursing student. Maybe it’s the fact that we have to switch our brains between advanced med-surg and public health concepts on a daily basis. With a little bit of role development thrown in for good measure. But we all seem just … plain … tired.

Is it Spring Break yet?

Glory

My parish nursing experience thus far has been an exercise in biting my tongue.  At other faith settings in which I’ve taken part over the years, I’ve been able to (respectfully) disagree with people and know that at the end of the day, we’re still part of the same community.  But in this case, we’ve been dropped in the middle of a congregation for six weeks with no relationships established and no idea where people stand on a number of different issues.  So in various interactions over the past three weeks, I’ve had to be careful what I say because it feels less like I’m a member of a community and more that I’m to be there for them and their needs.  My opinions and beliefs have to be shelved for now.  Not easy.

Yesterday we attended a women’s Bible study as part of our “participant observation” (in public health language, it means you participate in various events and activities in order to get a feel for the church members’ needs and interests).  It turned out to be not so much Bible study, and more watch a DVD of a Baptist woman preaching about the Holy Spirit.  Apparently throughout the week, the women have homework they’re supposed to do to prepare for the DVD.  Then there is a brief discussion afterward.  The divinity student in me cringed when this woman picked and chose particular verses from the Bible to prove her point, with no regard to context, history, language, etc.  The Methodist in me held my breath as people discussed how every single thing that happened to them was part of “God’s plan.”

Admittedly my own faith journey has been rocky since my father’s death.  I got sick of hearing that if we just prayed a little harder, God will heal him.  Tell that to the metastases ravaging his body.  The community of which I had been a part in college and seminary, a community that appreciated the nuances of faith and placed love and hospitality above all else, is more difficult to access, since they’re all back East.  So sorting through this experience has been somewhat lonely.

An education different than what I expected.  But an education nonetheless.